Bad Luck Black Money Read online

  "You don't even need to ask that, son," said Boss as he walked over to Emerald and gave him a hug. "I'm always here for you."

  "I know you are dad," said Emerald hugging his father. "It's just good to hear it, every now and then."

  "Here's what we're going to do," Boss said as he walked over to the canvas propped up against the wall and picked it up. "I'm going to clear three vaults in the basement for you kids. I'll let each of you choose your own combination and enter the code into the lock on your vaults. You'll have a big secure space to store your gold and so will your brother and sister."

  "Thank you, dad."

  "I'm not finished," Boss said, still looking at the fake painting. "You should keep the real gold coins mixed in with the packages with the fake ones. It was a stroke of genius hiding them in the open like that. No reason, to undo all that work.

  If a safe cracker were to somehow bypass our security and break into your vault, the sight of all that gold colored plastic might disgust him enough to leave empty handed."

  "Good advice, father," said Emerald hesitating. "There is something else, I want to talk about with you about."

  "Go ahead, Emerald," Boss said, leaning the painting against the wall, once again. "I'm all ears."

  "Well, the thing is... I'm kind of broke," Emerald said. "This whole thing with the gold has tapped out my cash reserves. I haven't got twenty thousand dollars cash to my name."

  "Ha," laughed Boss. "Isn't that ironic? You're sitting on a pirate chest full of booty and don't have enough cash to buy a decent, new car."

  "Looking back on things, I should have kept at least a portion of the twenty-nine million in cash, instead of converting it all into gold. Its kind of hard to buy a cheeseburger with a gold coin."

  "Yeah," chuckled Boss. "I can see your point."

  "So, would you like to buy some gold at below the spot price, dad?"

  "Don't be silly," scolded Boss. "I'm not going to take any of your spoils of war. You took the risk; you keep the reward. And besides, tens of millions might be a lot of money to the sweat monkeys, but I'm in the billionaire league. Twenty-nine million is chump change to me."

  "That may be true, Dad, but I'm still broke."

  "I hear you. I'll call Judy at the bank and have her armored truck over a couple hundred thousand for you.... What am I saying? It's your birthday. I'll have her send over a half million in cash."

  "Thanks, Dad. You're the best."

  "Yeah, well, try to make this last for awhile."

  "I will. I've learned my lesson.... But let's say, just for the sake of argument that I did need to convert some of my gold into cash. How would you suggest going about it?"

  Boss liked Emerald trying to pick his brain for information. It showed the proper level of respect.

  "Son, you should have left the gold in Asia. If you try to convert it to cash in America, you're going to lose half of it to taxes. And besides taking half, the I.R.S. will want to know how you acquired the gold, and you'd better have a good answer.

  So now, you've not only lost half your gold coins to taxation, but you have to buy or start a physical gold mining operation and back date everything to at least the prior year. Once it’s all said and done, your twenty-nine million drops down to around eleven million."

  "Damn!" interjected Emerald. "Ooops, sorry about the language."

  "As long as your mom doesn't hear it, I couldn't care less," said Boss. "What I would do personally, is sneak the coins out of the country on a shrimp boat. The Coast Guard checks way more boats coming in than going out. Once you hit international waters, you're in the clear.

  We have a few estates spread out in South America. Pick the one with the least amount of hassle, and you're home free.

  It seems odd to tell my own son, how to escape from the "Land of the Free", but that's life. Nothing lasts forever, not even the USA."

  "If it's so bad here, then why do we stay?"

  Boss had to think about it for a minute, and then said, "America is awash in easy money right now. Once that changes, we're gone. Besides, I don't consider myself an American citizen. I'm a citizen of the world. Let the lemmings fight it out amongst themselves. We'll watch it all burn down from the comfort of one of our private islands, while sipping margaritas. Virgin margaritas in your case....

  Emerald, I want you to understand that having a pile of gold is great, but that gold doesn't get out in the world and earn you more money. Gold just sits on its lazy ass and doesn't do anything. The twenty-nine million dollars worth of gold coins will buy the same amount of stuff in a hundred years from now that it'll buy today, but it won't buy anymore."

  "I totally get that, Dad. I just wanted to get a little nest egg, something to fall back on, if push comes to shove. I won't get complacent like a fat, lazy housecat."

  "Good to hear, son. Many a bright future has been dimmed by too much success, too fast. And I see global dominance in your future, IF you stay the course....

  Come down to Pluto Technologies next week. I'd like to see what you could do with your own subsidiary company. I see you running... a hedge fund?"

  "Oh, wow, I... I don't know what to say."

  "You don't have to say anything. And the second your studies suffer, you're out of there, even if you make us a hundred billion dollars. Understand?"

  "Absolutely, you won't regret this."

  "I'm sure I won't.... Now, come back to the party and have a piece of cake.... And socialize a little bit, it'll make your mother happy."

  Emerald picked up the forged copy of 'Athens’s Bouquet' and said, "I'll be right there. First, I want to hang this on the wall in my room."

  Chapter 12

  Boss walked alone down the hallway that led to the ballroom where Emerald's birthday party was in full swing. He surveyed the room and saw Esmerelda talking with a group of women from his company. Without doubt, they were gossiping.

  He made a straight shot through the crowd and gently pulled his wife away from her group, saying, "Excuse me, I need to borrow my wife for a minute."

  Once they were a sufficient distance from prying ears, Esmerelda looked at her diamond-encrusted watch and asked, "Has it already been a half an hour? I thought you'd be chopped into tiny, little pieces by now."

  "Oh, haha," said Boss sarcastically. "Everything is fine, more than fine. Emerald's more brilliant than I could have imagined."

  "I never doubted him for a moment," Esmerelda said in a superior tone. "After all, he is my son. Genius runs in my family. It's simple genetics, dear."

  Boss wanted to say, "Too bad, good looks don't also run in your family." But he was too smart for that. Instead he said, "Sweetie, my stomach hurts. I'm going to go lie down for awhile."

  Esmerelda placed the palm of her hand against his forehead, and said, "You're not running a fever. Do you want me to call Doctor Langley, to come over and take a look at you?"

  "No, don't do that," said Boss. "There are plenty of physicians here at the party if I needed a doctor. What I need is some rest."

  "OK," said Esmerelda. "You go take a nap and see if that does the trick. I'll check on you in a little while."

  "No, you stay here and enjoy the party. Emerald should be along shortly.... I'll be fine, just let me sleep."

  "If you're not better in the morning, I'm calling Doctor Langley," warned Esmerelda as Boss turned and started toward their bedroom.

  When Boss had commissioned the building of their mansion, Esmerelda had insisted upon putting a giant aquarium along one of the walls in their bedroom. Actually, the aquarium was so big that it served as the wall itself. At first, Boss was against the idea, but he didn't object very hard. Esmerelda got her way. Boss found life so much easier if he just let Esmerelda get her way.

  Once the giant tank was completed and filled with live corals and colorful, exotic fish, Boss couldn't get enough of it. It was like sleeping beside the ocean, except you could see what lay beneath it.

  Boss hired a full time marine biologist
away from a major theme part to take care of the fish. He then had to hire an assistant for the marine biologist to do the dirty work. The price tag for the aquarium kept going up, but since money didn't matter, Boss decided to knock down a couple of walls, raise the roof, and go bigger.

  A team of engineers at Pluto Moon Technologies was given the task of designing new tanks and support systems. There wasn't to be any condensation allowed on the tanks, regardless of room temperature. Not only did the lighting have to highlight the fish and illuminate the whole room, it had to change colors, dim, and gradually brighten in sync with the sunrise. The polymers comprising the tanks were crystal clear and one way visible (workers sanitizing the tank could do their job without seeing Boss and Esmerelda naked).

  Complicating matters, Boss insisted on having a giant TV screen that could descend from within the top tank, which substituted for the room's ceiling, then ascend when turned off. Sounds from within the tanks, of circulating water and swimming fish, could be heard throughout the room upon command.

  The newly designed wall tanks had an opening in the middle, so that a person could walk partway inside of each tank. A gigantic mound of colorful coral in the recess blocked one's progress and kept the water from pouring out of the tank. But for those in the know, pressing against a secret spot would make the seemingly solid coral part in the middle, revealing a decadently, luxurious bathroom.

  Boss's bathroom was on the left hand side of the room; Esmerelda's was on the right. The few people privileged enough to make use of the facilities could 'poop' beside stingrays and brush their teeth as sea turtles swam within a foot of them. Taking a long, hot, bubble bath as fish swam above you was an almost out-of-body experience.

  When their children were younger, it was next to impossible to keep them out of their parents' bedroom. Even years later, all three of them would venture in from time to time to watch the fish or just to use one of their bathrooms. Esmerelda got in the habit of thoroughly searching the bedroom and both bathrooms before having marital relations with her husband.

  "Ugh," thought Boss as he lay down on the king-sized bed. "I hope the ol’ lady lets me skip tonight's scheduled sex session."

  Most men of Boss's age, who had been married for as long as he had to the same woman, would be lucky to have sex twice a month. Boss had sex with his wife at least twice a week. On special occasions, such as holidays and birthdays, he might have sex three times in the course of a week. Emerald's birthday would normally count as a special day to Esmerelda, but since he faked a stomachache, she might be willing to take a rain check for the night.

  "That woman is insatiable," thought Boss as a luminous jellyfish swam over his head in the third aquarium, which composed most of the rear wall and part of the ceiling.

  When Boss had started to see real success in his first company, Pluto Technologies, he came to the realization that his first wife, Sissy, was an albatross hanging around his neck. He took the only logical course of action and cut her free. But, DAMN, she was one fine piece of ass!

  His new wife had a lovely mind, but nothing was beautiful about her body. Esmerelda had orange hair, not red, but orange like a fast food clown. Her face belonged on a coal miner after a long day underground, not on a lady. She wasn't fat, but she was too thin. Her breasts didn't match; one was bigger and had an inverted nipple. The other was small and lacked personality.

  Esmerelda was a woman, but had no womanly charms. Her skinny, unshapely legs abruptly ended at her hips, which held no ass to speak of. The woman's long, wide feet featured toes that pointed in all directions at the same time. Her hands were mapped with large veins that no manicure could ever draw attention away from and even her voice, grated on one's nerves if listened to at length.

  But the one thing that made Esmerelda desirable was her brilliant mind. Her I.Q. was practically off the charts. She spoke twelve languages better than most people could speak one. Her expertise in physics, electronics, and computer programming made her an invaluable asset to Pluto Technologies. And it was her work at Pluto Technologies that first brought her to the attention of Boss.

  While Boss had built Pluto Technologies from the ground up, he did so by standing on the shoulders of his brilliant employees. Boss knew a little about everything, but not everything about anything. He thought of himself as the captain of a nuclear powered aircraft carrier. And as captain, he didn't need to know what every nut and bolt on the ship did, only how to keep it on course and heading in the right direction.

  Esmerelda was working in research and development at the time of her first run in with Boss. Her team was working on a problem involving satellite transmission when Boss came in to check on their progress. As team leader, Esmerelda explained how they were experimenting with new approaches and how close to a breakthrough they were.

  Boss didn't say much in that first meeting, but Esmerelda knew then and there, that she wanted him. She liked his looks, but she loved his riches. And when she set her incredible mind on getting something, she usually figured out a way to get it.

  Walking away from R&D, Boss shivered at the thought of that poor, awful looking woman. Well, not poor financially. Esmerelda was commanding a high six figure salary, and she was worth every penny. He'd jumped for joy when the personnel department sent word that they'd managed to get the great Doctor Esmerelda Johnson. She would be key in propelling Pluto Technologies to the next level. But, at the time, he had no idea that she was hideous looking.

  Since his first marriage ended, Boss devoted himself entirely to his business. There was no time for loneliness. Money mattered, and that's all that mattered. Yet, as he grew richer and older, he began to think about the future of his business empire and who would run it after he died.

  It made no sense to work so hard for all those years and have nobody to leave it all to. There were nieces and nephews who'd enjoy the fruits of his labor, but it wasn't the same as having your own children. He needed heirs, and there was only one way to get them. Milton Van Hopenhammer, a.k.a. Boss, would have to marry and have kids.

  Sissy, Boss's first wife, was the type of woman that guys fantasize about. She was blonde with giant, size D-cup breasts, small waist, and just the right amount of booty for playful spanking. Her body wasn't too hard or too soft; it was the right combination of both, which made for some good lovin'. Unfortunately, she had the brain of a stereotypical dumb blonde.

  Sometimes, Boss would think about Sissy. Usually, when he needed to get to sleep and didn't want to take sleeping pills, he'd flog the dolphin, while thinking of her. To any other man, she would have been an ideal mate, but Boss needed more.

  If only Sissy could have given birth to intelligent children, then Boss would have held onto her. Sadly, the one child they had together was a big disappointment. The boy never made a single 'A' in school. He even failed the second grade. And with that, Boss wrote them both off. Oh, he'd send them money, but that was all he'd ever give them.

  Chapter 13

  With the goal of procreation in mind, Boss set out to find an acceptable mate. His billions of dollars helped open legs that would otherwise be closed to him. He dated younger women because they would be the most fertile. But he found most of them lacking in the intelligence department. Thanks to modern education, young women didn't know the difference between George Washington and George Jefferson.

  Some women, who would have met Boss's criteria, wouldn't date him because he was "too old". Exactly, when did thirty-nine years old become too old? The educational system had struck again, giving young ladies an over inflated sense of self worth. The thought crossed Boss's mind to search overseas for a wife, but who had time for that?

  Then one day, while sitting in a board meeting, listening to a presentation from the Research and Development Department, Boss caught Esmerelda staring at him like a lost puppy dog. He had to call upon all his willpower not to laugh out loud. The thought of an ugly woman like her dreaming of a man like him was hilarious.

  Hollywood m
ovie stars had their agents calling his personal secretary to line up dates. The rich and famous were lining up to have him date their daughters. College coeds were sending him love letters, although most of those coeds tended to major in drinking booze and smoking blunts. And what had all that attention gotten him?... Nothing.

  Not believing it himself, Boss began to ponder if Esmerelda might be the perfect match for him. He still couldn't stand the thought of actually having any physical contact with such a ghoul. But then again, what would it hurt to look into the possibility?

  Boss had sent all the people in the Human Resources Department home for the day. He wanted to look though Esmerelda's employment records in private. All the computer files were secured in the mainframe computer, which he could easily access from his desk. But the original paperwork was locked in a filing cabinet down in H.R. Esmerelda's original application in her own handwriting, resume, and the photo taken for her identification card would be in her file.

  Taking a big swallow of brandy from a crystal decanter, he got up the nerve to think about things that were beyond mere mortal comprehension... like having sex with Esmerelda.

  "Maybe there's something in here that'll disqualify her," thought Boss as he opened the vanilla folder. Esmerelda was within his target age range. The results of her pre-employment physical showed her to be in above average health. Her intellect was above questioning.... "Still,” thought Boss as he took another swig of brandy and picked up her photo, "she's uglier than a baboon's butt."

  The next day he called in a private detective, who did profiles of potential clients and investigated the competition's main players. Boss told Nick the private investigator to go deep into Esmerelda Johnson's family. He wanted to know everything about her parents, her siblings, and their children.

  "Do you suspect this employee of some wrong doing?" asked Nick as he rubbed the top of his balding head.