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  Junior had never taken the time to people watch, but he found it enjoyable and comparable to watching monkeys in the zoo. Whenever a woman was pretty or dressed too provocatively, he would look the other way. Something told him that Noi would know if he gawked at hot women.

  Glancing in the rear view mirror, Junior spotted a girl named Poo staggering down the street toward Club Swish. This was a woman, he'd known in a carnal way when he was still a single man. He averted his eyes and slouched down, hoping she'd not see him. Of course, his luck held true to form and she tottered over to the BMW.

  "Hey!" she shouted at Junior through the window.

  He kept his head down and pretended that he couldn't hear her.

  "Hey!" Poo shouted again. She beat against the window with her fist then took off one of her shoes and knocked hard on the glass with the high heel.

  Fearing that the girl would break Noi's window, Junior reluctantly let down the glass.

  "Hey," said Poo again, sending the stench of booze into the passenger's seat.

  "Hello," said Junior as he tried to avoid looking directly at her.

  "You, you... you got married?"

  "Yes, I'm married to Noi."

  "You, you, you... stupid."

  "Yes, there's not much doubt about that," answered Junior, trying to appease the drunken girl.

  "Why, why you not marry me?"

  "I asked Noi to marry me."

  "You too good, marry me?"

  "No, I'm not good enough for you. You will marry a handsome, rich man. I'm fat. You don't want me."

  Poo wobbled back and forth as she tried to comprehend what Junior had just said. A wicked smile crossed her lips then she said, "Noi cut dick off. You now ladyboy."

  Junior looked around in desperation for Gor to intervene, but the giant had his back turned, talking to a couple of businessmen, who were about to enter the club.

  Holding onto the car's ragtop roof to steady herself, Poo reached under her miniskirt and started pulling down her panties. She said, "Now you ladyboy. You wear pretty, pretty panties. You come in club; dance for rich businessmen."

  She threw her panties at Junior, but they missed his head and landed on the driver's seat. Junior sat still, not knowing what to do or say. Luckily, Gor saw what was happening, came over, shouted something in Thai at the drunken girl, threw her over his shoulder, and toted her into the club.

  Junior sat in the car, motionless. He dreaded to think about how Noi was going to react to all of this.

  Gor, eventually, emerged from the club, laughing. He walked over to the BMW and said, "Crazy women. Crazy women love you. You love crazy women, ha ha."

  At that moment, Junior didn't know how to respond to anyone, anymore. He just wanted Noi to come back and drive him home.

  Gor saw the panties lying on the seat and asked, "I have panties?"

  The thought of Gor wearing huge, pink, frilly panties brought Junior out of his trance.

  "You aren't going to throw panties at me, too. Are you?"

  Not having a good command of the English language, Gor tilted his head and scratched it with a finger, giving the universal sign for 'what the hell are you talking about?'

  Then he pointed at the panties lying on the driver's seat and said, "I have panties, yeah?"

  "Oh, you want those panties," Junior said aloud, as his mind registered what Gor was going on about. He reached over and gingerly picked up Poo's discarded panties with two fingers, like it had an actual streak of poo smeared across the backside. He dropped the panty in Gor's massive, outstretched hand.

  "Gor's panties," Gor said as he held them up to his nose and inhaled like a street junkie huffing a brown paper bag full of spray paint.

  "Yeah, good luck with that," said Junior as he rolled up his window, and Gor sashayed away with his prize.

  Another thirty minutes passed, before Noi emerged from Club Swish. She got in the car, looked at Junior's facial expression, and asked if everything was all right. The only thing he knew to do at this point was tell the whole truth.

  Noi sat there as Junior told every detail of his adventure, from Gor's conversation to the drunken girl's confrontation and even not knowing if it was all right to turn on the radio. He had an involuntary facial twitch, each time he thought she might go ballistic. But she just sat there in silence after he finished talking.

  Junior tensed up and closed his eyes as she leaned over to him. He thought, "She is going to beat the shit out of me!" But she pulled him to her breast and hugged him tightly.

  "There, there, it's going to be OK," Noi said. "You did the best you could. It's alright; I'm not going to punish you."

  A wave of relief swept over Junior. He thought, "A soft booby in the ear sure feels a lot better than a hard knee to the ball-sack."

  Barely a month passed before Junior was, once again, sitting in Noi's red convertible, parked in front of Club Swish. He was waiting for Noi to finish web chatting with her sister. This time, Gor smiled and waved at Junior but didn't approach the car for small talk.

  The less Junior was around people, the more fascinating they became. Was the guy, who ran in front of the BMW, going home to his family or rushing to get a massage with a happy ending? Did the old lady across the street selling barbecued chicken on a stick, make enough money to live comfortably? And was the middle-aged, white guy, who was buying one from her, on vacation from America, Australia, or England?

  A tap on the driver's side widow startled Junior. He looked over and saw Prince Abdul pointing to the door. It took a second, but Junior realized that the Prince wanted to sit inside the car beside him. He reached over and opened the driver's door.

  After getting in the car and closing the door, Abdul said, "This is a sporty looking car. Does it handle well?"

  "I couldn't say. I never drive."

  A sad smile crossed Abdul's lips. "I can believe that.... Are the rumors true?"

  "What rumors?" asked Junior.

  "How can I put this delicately?... Did Noi cut off a certain appendage, and you had it sewn back on?"

  "No, she broke it. But she didn't cut it off."

  "Ouch!" Abdul said, as he instinctively put his hand down between his legs to protect his own crotch.

  "The weird thing is, she beat me so bad that it didn't hurt nearly as much as my bruised coccyx. Imagine that, huh?"

  Abdul looked out of the windshield as he carefully considered his next words. "Junior, I feel like I'm in your debt. If it wasn't for you taking such an interest in Noi and then taking her away from here... I might have gotten involved with her.

  Normally, I prefer a 'clean' woman, one that has never experienced another man's penis.

  No offense, but the thought of entering a vagina after other men have defiled it, sickens me."

  The prince waited for Junior to respond, but he only stared back in silence, so Abdul continued.

  "But... there is something different about Noi. She emanates some sort of, for lack of a better word, magnetism.

  I get 'high' whenever I'm in her presence. I luxuriate in the scent that her body gives off in the heat of the day. I am intrigued by the way she attracts every man who sees her, regardless if he's with his wife or girlfriend at the time....

  Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

  "I totally get it," said Junior. "That's why I married her."

  "Yes! That's what I'm getting at," Abdul said animatedly. "If it wasn't for you taking her away from me, I'd have made her one of my wives. Then you know what would have happened?"

  "Uh, I'd imagine she'd eventually beat you up, like she did me."

  "Nonsense," protested the prince. "She wouldn't dare assault me! I'm far too much of a macho man for her. My women know their place, which is in the kitchen or bedroom....

  But she would eventually have been eaten alive by jealousy. Then one day when she just couldn't take it anymore, say after I've deflowered my latest virgin wife, she'd seduce me as only she could. Then after making hot monkey
love to me, I would drift off to sleep. And she would cut my throat!

  Don't you get it, man? She would have murdered me! You have, in a roundabout way, saved my life.

  I owe you a life debt."

  "Hey," said Junior as he backed away a little. "You don't owe me anything. Besides, you can't be sure that it would have gone down like that."

  "Don't be absurd," Abdul said with a dismissive flick of his wrist. "I know what I know. Plus, I hardly think you're in a position to make a valid argument, considering you're suffering from the Stockholm syndrome."

  "Stockholm syndrome?"

  "Yes, its a mental breakdown where the victim empathizes with his or her captor."

  Junior crossed his arms and said, "I'm not... I'm not... well... maybe... I don't know."

  "But, I do know," Prince Abdul said as he placed his hand on Junior's shoulder. "No wife should ever lay a hand on her man, unless it's to give him pleasure."

  "OoooK," said Junior. "It's probably a cultural thing, but you're sounding very 'old fashioned' to me."

  "Ha," laughed Abdul. "Is it a modern thing, where you're from, for a wife to cut off her husband's penis?"

  "No... and once again, she didn't cut it off.... She broke it."

  "Can you hear yourself, man? What part of that doesn't sound insane?"

  Bowing his head in his hands, Junior mumbled, "I don't know. What's right? What's wrong? I just don't know anything, anymore."

  "That's why I'm here," consoled Abdul. "I'm going to help get you out of this, my friend.

  Now listen, I have to attend a tribal meeting in the homeland. All the king's sons have to attend. While I'm there, I'll convince my brother to allow Nok to visit Noi at my desert retreat.

  The point being, you and Noi will have to come to my country and stay at my mansion in the middle of one of the world's largest deserts. Once you're there, it's impossible to leave unless I let you.

  In my country, women don't hit men. As a matter of fact, women are kept in their place. Husbands control their wives, not the other way around.

  In my house, you will be the boss of Noi. She will do as you say. If she doesn't, then my guards will force her to."

  "I don't know," said Junior. "It seems wrong somehow."

  "More wrong than Noi breaking your penis?"

  "What about when we come back to Thailand? She'll kill us both!"

  "Yes," said Abdul as he caressed the leather steering wheel. "About that, you will not be returning to Thailand... ever."

  "So, we'll be prisoners in your country?"

  "No, my friend. You can do whatever you want to... once your mind clears.

  If you want to stay at my desert retreat with a more... subservient Noi then that's your choice, we can come to a financial understanding that's advantageous for the both of us.

  Or, if you want to run away and hide somewhere in the world, where Noi cannot find you, I could give you a few months, head start. Noi's passport might mysteriously disappear and take months to get another.

  Better yet, if you wish to immigrate to my country, I could set you up in a house by the sea and send Noi back to Thailand. She would never find you, and she'd never be allowed re-entry into my country. There you would be safe. And let me add this, you have not lived until you've had yourself a Russian virgin. I'll 'hook you up', as the young people say.

  ... What do you say?"

  Junior tried to think, but his mind belonged to Noi.

  "I could never betray Noi like that. I won't do it."

  Abdul looked at Junior then smiled and said, "You don't have a choice. I'm going to offer Noi the opportunity to fly to my homeland on my family's private, customized Boeing 747 to see her sister. She'll accept, and you'll have to go with her, since you're her little pet.

  Should you try to warn her, I'll show her the love notes that you've been covertly been sending to Poo. Of course, I know you're totally innocent in the matter, but whom will Noi believe you or me? I'm a prince, and you are a lowly slave-boy.

  Noi will become enraged and either kills you or, this time, actually cut off your penis.

  ... Once you get your mind right in the desert, if you still wish to live as Noi's slave-boy, then I'll fly you both back to Thailand. No harm done, and my debt to you will be paid in full."

  Abdul got out of the car and before shutting the door, said, "I'll be seeing you soon."

  Chapter 8

  It seemed like no time had passed at all, before Junior found himself on the Naheer Family's private jet, headed to the Middle East. Sitting beside him, Noi seemed to be in a particularly happy mood. Ever since the prince offered her a trip to see her sister, Noi had been on cloud nine.

  During sleepless nights on the upcoming eve of their departure, Junior thought about what he would do. The smartest move would be to take Abdul up on his offer of immigrating and starting a new life. But he was married to Noi, and he really loved her. Or, at least, he thought he did.

  As Junior looked at Noi reading a magazine against the backdrop of clouds drifting by their window, he wondered if he could ever let her go. There were no women prettier than she was. She did make him feel loved and secure, with the exception of the beat down. Wouldn't some guys give their left nut to be in his position? Of course, if he stayed with Noi there was the real possibility that she would literally end his life in the near future.

  Four glasses of orange juice later, Junior found himself in need of relief. He asked Noi to come to the bathroom with him, but to his amazement she said, "You can go by yourself."

  Junior walked in a daze to the lavatory. He thought, "What's happening here? Didn't she beat me half to death for doing this exact same thing at home?"

  As a precaution, Junior left the door slightly cracked open as he did his business.

  The airplane was so big that Junior and Noi had a section of the plane, all to themselves. As they neared their destination, someone knocked on the mahogany door, which separated them from the next compartment of the airplane.

  "Come in," said Noi.

  It was Prince Abdul. He carried two expensive-looking shopping bags with him. He motioned to the seats opposite the happy couple and asked if he could join them, which he then did.

  "Now that we are about to land, I think it best to go over some of the customs of my country," said Abdul as he crossed his legs and leaned forward.

  "As you may know, we have a dress code that's enforced by the religious police. Even though you are my guests and I'm of royal blood, you must still abide by the law."

  Abdul opened one of the shopping bags and pulled out a black burka. "Noi, you need to change into this before you exit the plane. Once we're on the road in the stretch SUVs, you may then change back into your street clothes if you so desire. But once we arrive at my compound, you'll have to wear the burka from the vehicle to the building. Once inside and in your private quarters, you are free to dress however you like. But if you go outside your suite of rooms then you must wear the burka. Understand?"

  "OK," said Noi in a soft voice.

  "Now, run along to the bathroom and change for me," ordered Abdul.

  "OK," Noi said in an even softer voice as she got up and took the clothing into the bathroom.

  After the lavatory door was closed, Abdul said, "See? Gentle as a pussycat. Now then, I have a present for you."

  Prince Abdul pulled a thawb (long, Arabian, white robe) out of another shopping bag with matching keffiyeh (scarf worn on the head) and agal (cordage that is wrapped around the keffiyeh to keep it in place).

  "This will keep you cool in the desert. As a man, you are allowed to wear anything you want to, but trust me on this. A flowing robe is the way to go. Also, don't be modest. Wear nothing underneath. It acts like a mini air conditioner."

  "Your hospitality is eclipsed only by your generosity," Junior said.

  "Think nothing of it, my friend," said Abdul as he got up and poured himself a Scotch neat. "Once you get used to the way of life in my county, you'll
never look at things in the West the same way, ever again."

  Noi emerged from the bathroom wearing the burka with only her eyes showing.

  "My, how beautiful you are, Noi," said Prince Abdul. "Don't you agree, Junior?"

  "Ah, yes, of course," said Junior, who didn't know what to make of it.

  "You are wearing an exquisite burka, made from the rarest silks in all of known the world. Truly, you are a queen fit for a king. The most perfect rose would wilt in shame at being compared to your beauty."

  Abdul took another drink from his crystal glass and continued speaking, "See how much more civilized we are here than in the decadent West? There's no need to display your goods to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Let them wonder in ignorance, while only your husband knows the real truth."

  "Junior," said Abdul as he finished his Scotch, "you should also change before we touchdown."

  "Is it alright?" Junior asked Noi, who had sat back down beside him.

  "Of course," Noi said. "Whatever you want."

  Junior took his new clothes into the bathroom and closed the door completely shut. He kept expecting Noi to knock the door down and smash him up good, but it didn't happen.

  Both Noi and Abdul looked him over as he exited the bathroom wearing the Arabian robe.

  Noi was the first to speak. "Look how handsome you are, like Junior of Arabia."

  "Thank, you," said Junior as he blushed slightly and sat next to Noi.

  Junior placed his hand on top of Noi's hand. Prince Abdul raised one eyebrow, opened his mouth to speak, but then closed both his mouth and eyes and stretched out to relax.

  Five Chevy Tahoes with dark tinted windows drove up, single file, to the tarmac where the 747 had landed. The prince got into the third one. Noi and Junior got into the fourth one. Then they raced off into the barren desert.

  A black, plexiglass divider shielded Noi and Junior from their driver. Noi lifted her veil and looked out the side widow at the seemingly endless miles of desert surrounding them.

  After studying Noi's face and body language for any sign of an impending 'beat down', Junior asked, "Are you alright?"