Bad Luck Black Money Read online

Page 4


  But even if Junior could have run away, he wouldn't because he was in love. Love makes people do the craziest things.

  Sure, she had technically assaulted him, but she only did it because she loved him so much. The thought crossed his mind that he was acting like a beaten, trailer park woman, who fights the cops when they arrest a scumbag in a wife-beater tee shirt for domestic violence. Through swollen, black eyes she'll watch the police put her baby's daddy in a squad car, and through bloody lips she'll scream, "I love him!" Then Junior put that thought out of his mind and waited for his new wife to return.

  Chapter 5

  Even with battered testicles, Junior managed to have incredible sex with his new 'wife'. Noi wouldn't let him sleep until after she'd rendered him completely and utterly exhausted.

  The next morning she ordered an English breakfast from room service and fed Junior like an infant. That day, Noi refused to let Junior do anything for himself, even squeezing toothpaste onto his toothbrush. Junior felt euphoria unlike any he'd experienced with the highest priced wine or strongest marijuana.

  Lying in bed as the city sky began lighting up as the sun was going down, Noi resting her head upon Junior's chest and said, "Junior, we have a problem."

  "Uh-oh," Junior responded. "What have I done wrong?"

  "Nothing, don't be silly. It concerns my job at Club Swish."

  "You mean your former job at Club Swish. You quit when you agreed to marry me.... Right?"

  "Its not that simple, Junior. I signed a contract with Prince Abdul."

  "Wait a second," said Junior sitting up in bed with his arm still draped around Noi. "Abdul is a prince?"

  "Yes, he is a son of King Naheer. He is twenty-fourth in line for the crown.... You did not know this?"

  "No, I didn't know that. Everybody calls him, Abdul. I've never heard anyone call him Prince Abdul."

  "Actually, you should call him Prince Abdul Naheer. But he tells everybody to just call him, Abdul, like a normal person,” said Noi as she pulled the sheet up to cover her exposed breasts.

  "OK, prince or not, he can't own a slave in Thailand. You're free to do what you want to, contract or not."

  "Like I said, there is a problem."

  "OK, explain the problem to me, and I'll fix it."

  "Oh, Junior," said Noi sliding her leg over one of his. "You want to be my knight is shining armor, but life is more complicated than that.

  I have a younger sister, who is married to one of Abdul's brothers. Or should I say WE have a sister, who is married to one of Abdul's brothers.

  My sister is now your sister. Her name is Nok.

  Anyhow, she lives in the Kingdom of Naheer, and she is so sad. She is homesick for me and Thailand. But her husband won't let her come visit. He makes her wear the black burka with only eye holes, and his other wives are mean to her because she isn't Persian."

  Noi paused to see if Junior wanted to say something, but he just stroked her hair and listened.

  "Prince Abdul is able to persuade his brother to let me video chat with Nok over the Internet... sometimes. Without his help, I would never get to talk to her. And I'm afraid that if we don't pay my contract out, he might tell his brother to stop Nok from talking with me.... It would devastate Nok and me, too."

  "How much money are we talking about?" asked Junior.

  "I'm not exactly sure. I've already worked at Club Swish for five years; my contract was for maybe... seven years?"

  "I think I can handle it," Junior said.

  "Don't be so sure. I make tons of cash for the club. It might be in the high hundreds of thousands of dollars, maybe even over a million."

  "Yikes," exclaimed Junior as he started running mental calculations of what money he had on hand. "I'm fluid, but not that fluid."

  "I have some money saved up, and I can sell my condo, if need be." Noi said. "But even if it means never seeing our sister again, I'll never sleep with another man. Our marriage comes first."

  "That's so sweet of you. But maybe, we can handle the load. My trust fund pays at the first of the month; that should help. And I'd live like a backpacker to save money for you. You know I'd do anything for you, but I can't borrow money, or it'll bust my trust fund then we'd both be broke."

  Noi snuggled up to Junior and said, "It would be OK to be poor as long as we are together."

  The next day, Noi arranged a meeting with Prince Abdul through Cookie. Both she and Junior were to be in Abdul's business office at three o'clock.

  They arrived fifteen minutes early. Junior sat in a chair in the lobby while Noi nervously paced the floor. Her high-heeled shoes made a steady popping sound, except for when she turned around they went 'rrrwree'.

  "Why are you so nervous?" Junior asked. "Things are going to turn out fine."

  Noi stopped pacing for a few seconds to look at Junior then continued with her walking back and forth.

  Cookie opened the door to Prince Abdul's office and said, "Abdul will see you now."

  As Junior and Noi entered, Abdul said, "Welcome, welcome, can Cookie get you anything? Perhaps, coffee or tea?"

  "No, thank you," said Noi for the both of them. "We are fine."

  "That will be all," Abdul said, dismissing Cookie. "Are the rumors true?"

  "What rumors did you hear?" Noi asked.

  "You know," said Prince Abdul as he walked around his polished, teak desk and sat on it. "Are you stealing my best gal away from me?"

  "Guilty as charged, your highness," Junior said with pride. "Noi's made me the happiest man in the world."

  "Fantastic," Abdul said.... "So, Noi must have told you my little secret. Yes, I'm a prince, but none of that 'your highness' crap. It’s just plain ol’ Abdul. OK?"

  "OK," said Junior.

  "So, what do I owe the pleasure of this little visit?"

  Noi, who had placed her hand protectively over Junior's hand, said, "There is the business of my contract with Club Swish."

  "Oh, yes," said Abdul as he got up and walked back behind his desk and opened a filing drawer. "I believe there are a couple of years left on that."

  Noi and Junior were silent as Prince Abdul pulled out a file with the label 'Noi' on its header.

  After studying a few papers therein, Abdul said, "My, my, according to this contract, if you intend to leave prematurely then you owe me a lot of money."

  "I know, sir," said Noi gripping Junior's hand so hard that it started turning red. "But if you can just give us some time to pay."

  "Don't be silly," Abdul said, as he closed the folder then ripped it in half. "We are practically family. You don't owe me a dime."

  "Thank, you!" exclaimed Noi and Junior in unison.

  "Think nothing of it," said Abdul as he got up and walked over to a small bar where he poured three shots of Scotch. He walked back to the front of his desk and handed a drink to each of his guests.

  "Cheers," Abdul said, and they clinked their glasses together. After downing his liquor, Abdul said, "I'm glad you found somebody, Noi. Its shameful for you to be doing this kind of work."

  Embarrassed, Noi looked down at the floor.

  "And you, Junior, you'd better take care of my girl."

  "I will. I promise; I will."

  "You'd better. Because if you don't," said Prince Abdul leaning in toward Junior and pointing at Noi. "This one here, she'll cut your balls off."

  Junior's mouth dropped open, and he couldn't think of anything to say.

  Noi waved her hand playfully at Abdul and said, "Don't tell him that. He'll think you're serious."

  "Yeah, you're a real pushover," said Abdul rolling his eyes. "Have you already gotten married? I don't see a ring on anyone's finger."

  "No," said Junior as he shifted in his chair slightly away from Noi. "We haven't actually had the ceremony, but we consider ourselves already husband and wife."

  "Then you must have the wedding at my house in the province," Abdul stated.

  "We could not ask you to do that. You've already do
ne so much," Noi said.

  "No, I insist," Abdul said as he looked over a schedule on his desk. "How about the twentieth of this month? I'll close down the club for a day so all the girls and staff can attend. It'll be like a little vacation for the employees."

  "That's most generous," said Junior. "I'm fine with it, if Noi is."

  "Of course," Noi said, leaning her head on Junior's upper arm.

  Before they knew it, their wedding day had arrived. Noi had packed some clothes for both of them, including her wedding gown, and off they headed for Prince Abdul's mansion in the Chiang Mai province. Noi drove her BMW with Junior riding beside her in the passenger's seat.

  Junior looked over at Noi driving way too fast for the road conditions, but kept his mouth shut. However, he knew that he'd better check whether Noi was OK about all her former workmates being in attendance.

  "Noi," said Junior in his most soothing voice. "Are you going to be fine with all the women at our wedding?"

  "Whatever do you mean?" asked Noi as she passed a pickup truck, which was overloaded with people.

  "Like, if one of your female friends hugs me, you're not going to beat me up. Are you?"

  Taking her eyes off the road for way too long, Noi looked Junior in the eyes and seethed, "If you touch another woman, I'll punch you in the side of your head as hard as I can."

  "Watch the road!" screamed Junior as they barely missed a slower moving car.

  "How am I going to avoid all contact with women at our wedding? Don't you think that you can relax for just one day?"

  "No, if you so much as look too long at another girl, I'll beat you like a stubborn ox in front of everybody there!"

  "... Oh, crap," Junior said as he rubbed the temples of his head. "Just how am I going to manage to be at a wedding full of women and evade all of them?"

  "It will be easy, honey. You stay in the car until I send some monks to fetch you. You stay with the monks until the wedding is over. That way, you get to stay in good enough health to enjoy the honeymoon.... See, it’s easy."

  Junior didn't respond. He watched the countryside zooming by his window and wondered what had he gotten himself into.

  True to her word, Noi sent several monks out to her car where Junior was waiting. The monks wore flowing golden robes, had shaved heads, and seemed very happy. Undoubtedly, Noi had paid them to bodyguard Junior throughout the wedding.

  The monks' enthusiasm and joy was contagious. Despite being their prisoner, Junior couldn't help but get happy, too. The food was good, and the liquor flowed freely. Every now and then, Junior would sneak a peek through his human blockade at the other guests, most of whom he'd slept with during his days of partying at Club Swish. His luck was good that day because Noi was busy changing into her wedding dress and didn't catch him looking at the forbidden fruit.

  One of the monks was fluent in English and talked non-stop to Junior about football, or soccer as Americans call it. Never a big sports fan, Junior nodded politely at times and ventured a 'huh' every now and then to keep the monk talking. Noi couldn't get mad about him sneaking peeks over the monk's shoulder if he was actively engaged in conversation, or could she?

  The time for the marriage ceremony arrived, and Noi parted the throng of guests to join Junior before the monks. Noi mesmerized Junior in her white wedding gown. She looked even more beautiful than she normally did, which Junior didn't believe possible, yet there she was.

  They both knelt by a makeshift altar adorned with flowers and a golden Buddha statue. The monks took turns chanting and speaking to the attendants who sat on white, wooden, folding-chairs, while Noi and Junior were left kneeling on the stone floor.

  While Noi seemed perfectly comfortable kneeling, Junior was in agony. He was far too heavy. His knees ached and pains ran up both legs. Shifting his weight only brought pain from new areas. Junior started sweating profusely, even though, it was a cool day for Thailand.

  Realizing that the ceremony was not going to end anytime soon, Junior took comfort in looking at his beautiful bride. Noi noticed him staring at her and told him to look forward.

  "I'd rather look at you," whispered Junior. "You look amazing. Better than beautiful, what is the word for that?"

  "Be quite," whispered Noi with an undertone that warned Junior to shut up or else.

  After burning enough incense to mask the smell of marijuana smoke at a rap concert, one of the monks placed Noi's wrist upon Junior's and tied them together with a string. Then another monk added another string and so on, until their wrists were bound together with so many strings that it would take a knife to cut them apart. And just like that, they were officially husband and wife.

  Noi got to her feet easily, but Junior couldn't make his legs work so some of the monks helped him up. Cookie brought him a chair to sit on until his circulation restored itself. Junior got an accidental glimpse of Cookie's cleavage and averted his eyes as if she was the sun. He looked at Noi, and he could have sworn that she had a self-satisfied look in her eyes, but it could have just been a hallucination from lack of blood flow. Either way, it was easier to just let Noi have her way.

  Once Junior was able to walk again, the newly wedded couple excused themselves from the reception and got into a white limousine. They were still tied together at the wrists with string.

  "What about your car?" asked Junior.

  "You mean, what about OUR car," Noi said.

  "Fine, what about our car?"

  "We will pick it up after our honeymoon. Nobody is going to tow it away."

  "Can we cut these strings off of us, now?"

  "Why would you want to do that, honey?"

  "Well, its not exactly easy, getting around like this,” Junior said as he lifted his arm up slightly, pulling Noi's arm upward as well. "It’s like being handcuffed."

  "You let me worry about that. I will take them off and put them in a memory book when I feel like it, OK? I get to say how long they stay on, OK?"

  With a slight sigh, Junior said, "Yes, dear.... But tell me this. How are we going to get our clothes off tonight, when we are tied at the wrists?"

  Noi smiled as she leaned over to kiss Junior lightly on the lips, when she'd finished, Junior looked down to see a big slash in his shirt. He looked over at Noi as she closed the blade of a little curved knife with one hand and slid it back into her garter belt.

  "A girl has to come prepared," said Noi.

  "I can see that," Junior said. At that moment, he knew that she would literally kill him one day. He had willingly entered into a relationship with a beautiful psychopath. His final outcome was predetermined, and obvious to anyone privy to the facts. But it didn't matter. Junior was basking in the affections of the world's hottest woman, and he intended to enjoy the ride for as long as it would last.

  Everyone congratulated the newlywed couple as they entered a seaside resort. The receptionist went on and on about how beautiful the bride was and how handsome the groom looked. Even the bellboy refused to take a tip from the happy couple. Their first night spent as a legally married couple was magical. And to Junior's amazement, the strings stayed tied to both of their wrists through the night.

  The next morning, all of the food from the previous day's festivities hit Junior like a sucker-punch. He begged Noi to cut the strings, but she refused. Much to his embarrassment, Noi accompanied him to the bathroom to relieve himself. Even worse, she also needed to use the facilities, and he was forced to be there.

  Junior had never been a prude. When the whips and chains came out, he was willing to both give and receive. But he'd always drawn the line when it came to bathroom play. Defecation and urination were disgusting not sexy.

  On the other hand, Noi didn't have a problem with it. She thought peeing and pooping as a part of nature and wasn't shy or ashamed in any way.

  On the third day of being a forced Siamese twin, Junior started developing a rash on his wrist that was tied to Noi's. Against her wishes, but for her husband's benefit, she cut the litera
l strings, which bound them.... Noi cried for a solid hour.

  Trying to comfort his wife, who was crying over such a silly thing, Junior told her that she could tie them back together anytime she wanted to. Noi instantly quit crying and put Junior in a bear hug. The thought crossed his mind that he'd done exactly what she wanted him to, but at least, she wasn't crying.

  Over the next few months, Noi exercised her option of re-tying the strings around their wrists and would leave them tied together for a couple of days at a time. Junior found his life to be so much easier if he just let Noi run things. If she wanted to go out and eat at a restaurant, then they ate out. If she wanted to stay in and watch a Thai movie, then they stayed in and watched a Thai movie. If she wanted to go shopping, then they went shopping with Junior being careful to avoid eye contact with any shop-girls.

  Chapter 6

  One day, when Noi was in the kitchen cooking dinner, Junior had to use the bathroom and from years of habit, he locked the bathroom door after closing it. About halfway through reading a magazine, Junior heard someone trying to turn the locked doorknob. A split second later, Noi was screaming at the top of her lungs in Thai and kicking the door so hard that it rocked back and forth on its hinges with each kick.

  Rising from his seat on the toilet with his pants still around his ankles, Junior yelled, "Wait a second!"

  Before he could waddle over to the door, it broke open with bits of splintered wood flying in all directions. In near shock, Junior just stood there with his mouth open and his mind not believing what his eyes were seeing. Noi came at him with fists flailing and screaming with enough decibels to shatter eardrums.

  Junior took several punches to his ribs and head as he tried to retreat. He tripped and fell because of his underwear was around his ankles. Instinctively, he curled into a fetal position, using one of his arms to protect his head and the other to cover his genitals.

  Noi mounted him about the stomach and beat him all over his body with clenched fists and powerful open-palm slaps. Each strike echoed off the bathroom's tiled surfaces and sounded like firecrackers popping.